The things people say to vegans…

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before….

As vegans we are all subjected to many wonderful comments and questions from those who look at us and scratch their heads – yes, my friends, we really are that wonderful!

Here’s my handy guide to the barrage of comments that will make you grind your teeth down to the gum….

Where do you get your protein?

We hail seitan (unless we’re wheat intolerant), we are tantalised by tofu and embrace Edamame. But, hey, where have you bean?

Beans are so heavy in protein they give spinach a run for its money in the protein department. Peas are good too – and they’re colourful, easy to cook and go with any food on the planet – except, maybe, ice cream!

Vitamin B12?

Well, most plant milks are fortified with the stuff and nutritional yeast spreads are a great source. It is also available in the outer skin of button mushrooms – and I don’t know about you, but I’m a total mushroom addict.

Seriously, why do people suddenly become concerned about the nutrients in your diet when you become vegan. Have these people randomly asked you over dinner if you get enough B12 before veganism embraced your heart?

No, of course not. People aren’t concerned about the nutritional value of your diet at all, they are just using fake concerns to attack your choices. Not really very clever, is it?

Do you know how many animals die in the production of vegan food?

Well, I’m guessing it isn’t an exact science. This is a new one that’s been tossed in vegans’ direction over the last few months and it makes me bury my head in my hands and shout “arrrrggghhh” at the Facebook page on my screen that has suddenly turned into an anti-vegan cliche.

So, people are worried that insects die in the production of plants that either go directly onto vegan plates or are fed to animals which are then killed?

Well, since you put it like that…. I do, we do, you should do, it’s not rocket science, is it?

It is the most illogical argument against veganism since I found myself alone on a desert island with no plant life to sustain me. Those rowing boats on the park lake can be lethal you know? I was lucky I managed to swim ashore – the island was only 25 metres further away from me than the lake’s shore too!

But veganism is so expensive.

No according to the vegan section of Jack Monroe’s website – https://cookingonabootstrap.com/category/vegan-recipes/

This article from the, normally middle class, Guardian is also useful: https://www.theguardian.com/education/2018/sep/18/no-fresh-meat-how-to-eat-vegan-on-a-student-budget?fbclid=IwAR33ZONH0jyvSpDa-LcnmwOMla9vPe3j4aRBDHDfIA0ovvU03vt0Yx5nrBY

Yes, meat substitutes can be expensive, but vegetables aren’t, beans aren’t, pulses aren’t and you can get cheap spices from any supermarket – come on, get creative on a Sunday and bung it in the freezer for the rest of the busy week.

How do you spot a vegan? Don’t worry they’ll tell you.

Yes, in a restaurant it is pretty essential to inform the staff that you don’t want any animal products on your plate. As the free leaflets advertising meat pop through your letterbox, scream from the billboards in the town centre and scream at you from the newspapers, magazines and TV adverts, one could be forgiven for thinking that it’s the meat producers trying to force their views down our throats…

Have you read any articles on veganism on mainstream news outlet pages on social media? They are all filled with meat-eaters giving their opinions on vegans and veganism – bit ironic really!

You just eat grass/rabbit food

Sorry, but I’ve never seen a bunny tuck into vegan mac ‘n’ cheese, beetroot burgers and chips or the latest vegan pizza to hit the stores.

Why do you make food that looks/tastes like meat

Why do you throw 16 different types of plant (herbs and spices) on your meat to make it taste like plants? Last time looked sausages and burgers were the names of food shapes, not the food themselves. But, let’s be clear here, most vegans object to meat production because of the cruelty involved, therefore, it’s not the taste of meat they are objecting to, is it? Many vegans grew up eating meat – they had no choice, it’s what their families served them for meals – in other words, they forced a meat-based diet down their throats. So how is this different from raising a child as a vegan?

Vegans are extremists

Because not wanting things to die is so very extreme….

 

Vegans just have to (sausage) roll with it

What’s the new Greggs’ Vegan Sausage Roll like?

That isn’t a rhetorical question, I really want to know – well, sort of, I can’t afford one right now.

I used to love the Holland and Barrett ones – cold and dipped in soup or warm and covered in ketchup – we all have different ways of eating sausage rolls – right?

The Linda McCartney ones are divine hot and the little Tesco own ones are cheap and my choice to stick in my pocket while I’m at work. The best ones, of course, are those made at home – with an array of vegan sausages available, it really isn’t that hard. Here’s an example: https://www.thevegspace.co.uk/recipe-easy-vegan-sausage-rolls/

While in Blackpool last summer, my friends were raving about the vegan-friendly sausage rolls at the Poundbakery – two for a quid apparently. I found a pie shop which had vegan pies instead, but I love the idea of cheap vegan food – I’m a working-class lad on a part-time wage, the falafel and avocado generation might as well inhabit a different planet to me.

But why all the fuss? Seriously. A new vegan product is rolled out as Veganuary launches its most successful campaign ever – so, why all the fuss?

Well, most of us who have been vegan for more than a couple of years have had issues with finding vegan-friendly food either locally, while we’re out, or at an affordable price – and since the advent of social media, vegans have become experts at doing marketing departments’ jobs for them. Although, the Twitter responses of Greggs have helped to propel the pastry product into the national spotlight: https://www.livekindly.co/greggs-shuts-down-piers-morgan-hating-on-vegan-sausage-roll/

Of course, all publicity is good publicity, so enter stage right, the pantomime villain in the shape of Piers Morgan.  As you will have heard unless you live under a rock on the Planet Omnivore in the outer reaches of the Carnivorous Way system, you will have realised that the elation of Piers to vegan hate figure cause célèbre has not only helped Greggs boost their profits but has also helped to raise the profile of the man we all like to hiss at. Rumours that they share a PR company do seem more and more likely.

So, my friends, this is veganism in the 21^st century – social media veganism if you will…. And, while I realise that social media is great for spreading the V-word, it can also dilute the message. For me it isn’t about sausage rolls, pantomime villains and PR stunts, it’s about getting more people to stop eating animals, to get more farmers to stop breeding animals for slaughter and for more people to make the connection between animal rights and what’s on their plate.